Friday, November 17, 2006

It was s'posed to be so easy!

Okay! So it seems I didn't get the publishing job and the most likely culprit is the film stuff I left on my CV. Despite playing it down as "just a silly hobby", I was deemed too much of a....I guess we'll call it a "flight risk". To add insult to injury, a data entry company in Paddington called me yesterday with an offer of employment. Unsure as to my status with Mintel, I said "Sure!" as the pay was great (ten pounds an hour) and it was a short term contract which would earn me enough cash to get into London. The recruitment guy went "Great! I'll call you back later" then didn't.

Hooo boy.

So I'd be lying if I said I felt at the top of my game right now, but I'm hardly about to give up. I do think I'm getting close to the point of just taking a data entry job or whatever, though, so I can just get set up and continue hunting for film work. One of the nice folk I met in Camden said he'd help me get a job with a telephone charity fundraising company which would pay alright and offer flexible hours. Another week of this nonsense and I might just take him up on the offer.

Meanwhile I've been whoring myself out like the dickens, with more of a focus on film work since the bad news about Mintel. I've also been working more on the horror script, which feels like a sure-shot for reaching feature-length, and have been steadily adding bulk to the next Dirk Hardwood installation.

I wish I had more exciting adventures to post pictures from and all, but it's been a bit dull lately. Lots of job hunting and wishing I had a job, I'm afraid! Sorry guys, I'll have to take up bungee-jumping or alcoholism or something to spice things up.

In the interest of something cheerier, do check out the regularly updated art page of a gent who goes by the alias of "Posterchild". I think it's one of the best things he has done and it almost goes without saying that I greatly enjoy his "Evidence of Batman" series. His philosophy on the reclamation of public spaces by the actual public is also a great read. If you feel like supporting an artist, then you can do so with some of the t-shirts he has made out of his work. Finally, there is also a classic little movement he got rolling.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Jobbin'

Done up all pretty, I set off today so as to secure employment. Nearing Barbican station, I had a bit of an encounter with a woman who had an arse like a bumper car and a voice that could be likened to being stabbed in the kidneys while trying to enjoy watching your child take it's first steps.

That is to say, she was unpleasant...

...with me over my seeming to abandon a free paper on the subway seat which (she assumed) I had brought with me. I gave her a saucy wink and then exited, no time for temper tantrums today. Early for being early, I took a stroll around the neighborhood and was pleased to see that it had a small park and a large selection of pubs and restaurants which I might choose from if I need to buy a lunch. There was also one of those betting shops which are so popular here, adorned with several smiling Vinnie Jones posters letting me know that he would "do well by me, my son". This parlor was named "Ladbrokes" and though I understand they are betting brokers, it just doesn't strike me as wise to have that word in the name of a place which is trying to entice you with visions of cash. Kind of like naming a casino "Cash Strapped" or "Shitouttaluck".

The interview went fairly well, I feel. There were some last-minute skill bits, but nothing as bothersome as that Microsoft Word test. There was typing (la dee dah) and a sort of general "Are you stupid?" test. The latter is something I had to do at Greythorn recruitment as well and I have to wonder if there isn't some sort of sub-class of clever idiots who wank up a good CV, sound fair enough in the interview but then cannot do simple addition, multiply fractions, spell "indenture" or know the proper meaning of "effect".

Then again, maybe I shouldn't be so hard. I find that frequent use of spellchecker has brutally assaulted my own abilities and for the past few months I've been trying to avoid using it as anything but a last resort. The maddening thing about having an English degree (Honours too, you special boy you) is that you are often expected to be bloody infallible and a simple mistake will topple you off your high perch and place you straight into a large pile of what Ralph Steadman might refer to as gigoloshit. I don't know precisely what that last word means, but I'd marry it if the laws of man and nature would allow.

The pay turned out to be a grand above average for graduate jobs, so that's nice. There is a well-developed training program, 25 vacation days in a year and a semi-casual workplace (sweaters, but not novelty t-shirts or condoms). The job itself apparently is "Production Assistant" and would involve a lot of style editing over general proofreading, but whatever. It's something I can do for 40 hours a week and not just feel like I'm turning off my brain for eight hours a day while accruing nothing but a shit wage and more free radicals in my cells. Heck, some aspects which were described to me even sounded appealing to my taste for organizing things and changing them so as to remove the verbal chaff from the wheat.

They claim that I will know by Friday as to the result, one way or the other. I'm going to keep applying to other jobs, but I must say that I really do I hope I get this one. If all went well I could be living and working in London before the end of the month.

Switching from the micro to the macro, a decision was made today to dramatically raise traffic congestion charges in London by 2009 (giving folk time to adust their lifestyle to cleaner transport). The brilliance of this particular bill is that it changes things from a flat five pound fee to a gradiated fee based on the model of vehicle. Zero emission vehicles don't have to pay any fee at all...

I caught some BBC debate on the matter and it was hilarious listening to how rational the Green side were. Not only did they stress how this would benefit everyone and quote facts from reputable sources, but they made a point of explaining how families and small business could adapt without breaking the bank - usually while saving money in the long run. Meanwhile, the other side of the arguement just whined about the inconvenience of having to change business methods or tuning the family car to emission standards. There was no effort to expand upon the basic premise of "It will be a pain in the arse and I don't wanna and it will rape everyone's wallets" nor any attempt to meet environmental needs halfway.

It's just pathetic listening to this substanceless babyshit, but it is the defense of inconvenience which strikes me as one of the greatest obstacles for that understated job of....you know, saving the world. It's funny how hyperbolic that sounds, when it isn't.

Ok, I'm sorry - to apologize for soapboxing I will give you this. Some of you may have already seen it though, such is the internet.

Addendum
I actually found the company description of the job.

Monday, November 13, 2006

In case any of you felt like buying me something for no good reason...

....I'm just sayin'.

Man, I am sick of being on a budget.

So I've prettied up my finest shirt, slacks and jacket for the journey into London tomorrow. The travel route is plotted out on paper, despite being an absurdly straightforward tube ride on the Hammersmith & City line followed by a minute's walk at most. I've even researched the company a bit so I can sound appropriately keen. Yes, I shall be a sparkling lad with a cleanly shaven neck that just inspires confidence.

Everything is gonna be fine, just you wait.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Suitably Mirthless and Without Guilt

Just for a laugh, I thought I'd post this photo I had to take of myself to use in my Young Persons Rail Card application. I was pretty amused at how the site specified that you could not smile or show any real expression in the photo, despite the fact that the hair-jellied jackass in the website seems to be halfway through orgasm. Oh well! In case any of you were desperatly wondering what I look like after being told a bad joke, wonder no more.





In case you ever wondered what I would look like as an early 90's trading card from a series about hairy-chested rappers with names that will haunt them in their elder years, then lo this mystery shall be solved as well.