Entropy is my homeboy.

So I've taken one big step closer towards becoming the kind of old man I'm planning to be and I figured it'd be worth writing something here. 

I'm tempted to do a kind of overall appraisal but that's really what my annual End of the Year entries are for! 

I will say that I'm increasingly excited about Vidcon in July. If all I do is have fun then I won't think it a failure, but I am of course hoping to promote the heck out of the show. I'm perfectly aware that while my traffic has been increasing and my subscriber base has doubled since the start of the year...I still have a significantly smaller footprint than your average photogenic teenager talking into a $50 webcam about their hobbies. 


I say that without any bitterness or resentment! I'm very happy with what 2010 has done for the show so far, I'm just aware that in order to even make a part-time living I will need to increase my subscriber base to at least ten times it's current amount. 

I've been experimenting, of course. The "Radio" show christmas special, some Project Wonderful advertising, taking a break in January to build an episode buffer, getting more out-of-studio footage, A Very Special Surprise I'll begin putting up at the start of August, taking a topic from a viewer's suggestion and generally busting my butt to keep improving the Basic Product (I've finally gotten Adobe CS5 so I can learn how to clean up my greenscreening and perhaps do some effects that won't be as cheesy as any number of Dragonball Z fireballs or their ilk). 

The big thing is to try and escape a trap I've built myself. 


By trying to stand out from the crowd in what I talk about, framing episodes as reviews to help make things (ideally) more interesting then a straight up rant, I've ironically made it much more unlikely for people to find me. It's no secret that there are far more people searching for popstars, movies, video games, bands and Sexy Things than anything I talk about. While I do think there is something to the idea of the Internet as a meritocracy, I think that the nature of search engines, Youtube and just plain ol' people do a lot to prevent it from being a "pure" one. It makes sense and hell, it's not like I'm some superior being who never looks up any of that stuff! 

I bet I could do some could even do a pretty good show about that subject matter, but it's not where my strongest passions lay (for now, at least) and I have to wonder if becoming one of So Many wouldn't obscure me just as much. 

My best boosts have always come from someone with a larger audience being kind enough to point them in my general direction and what's encouraging is that when I do get a big influx of eyeballs, the vast majority of them choose to hang around. But that sort of thing comes about almost entirely by chance and I know that one of the first things to happen to anybody with some decent success is for them to become, understandably, chronically irritated by requests for a link or a mention in a video or whatever. 

Of course, I could just suck! Land sakes alive, I don't want to be one of those guys who constructs an elaborate theory for why they aren't having the sucess they'd like to have when the answer is plain to see for anyone who isn't him. But this conflicts with my natural desire to problem-solve, which means trying to come up with an explanation as well as a plan of action.


In non-Handful related news...
Though I've been thinking about it for a couple of months, I am now seriously looking at a trip to the Ukraine and Russia (the eastern bit) in fall of 2011. It should come as little surprise to most that my goal would be to traipse through the ruins of the Soviet Empire and that while this would certainly include Chernboyl & Pripyat, the Disneyland & Orlando of this kind of journey, I'd also be trying to get to a variety of other curious locations. I reckon I need to start planning now if only because I haven't figured out precisely where a lot of those things are! When I get closer to the date I think I shall see what I can do about contacting Russian urban explorers and maybe even seeing if I have any Russian fans who'd be willing and able to help me out in one way or another.

I figure that it's all very well and good to talk about Perfectly Wonderful & Horrible things but I also would like to see more of them up close. Plus, although I certainly did enjoy a lot about my trip to Athens I'd have to say the most valuable thing I took from that trip was a lesson in what kind of travel actually appeals to me. After seeing most of the classic ruins up close I found myself basically killing time until my flight back to England. Places to eat foreign (to you) food, places to swim, drink, dance and go for nice walks can all generally be found where you live - I'm not pissing on anybody elses parade but Athens taught me that doing those things in another country doesn't stimulate me enough to feel the expense is worth it. Maybe in time my mind will change or if I have the right company...but that's where I'm at now.

What absolutely feels worth it for me is not to take a vacation so much as to have an adventure. Meeting all sorts of Internet folk I've only emailed before, trying to promote the show and getting around a major American city that I may have to spend more time in if my career takes certain paths is a little adventure to me. Digging my way through the still standing bones of Reagan's beloved "Evil Empire", an entity whose imagery & culture have flooded so much fiction & non-fiction I've seen for my entire life, that strikes me as a big adventure the likes of which I may still be talking about when I reach that point I mentioned earlier.