Leveling up...

NERD

Moving on!

So okay already, I've been in Toronto nearly 12 weeks now. I've got a place, I've got some furniture and though I don't have a steady job...I'm no longer entirely sure if I want one. This is related to my desire for something more than working jobs during the day in which I gain nothing but a paycheck, then trying to pursue my scriptwriting career in my spare time - essentially working 60 to 80 hour weeks and, even if I use spare time to relax, feeling at all times like I am doing something wrong if I am not writing.

As I'm sure anyone reading this can imagine, this has become pretty draining after two and a half years. That's how long it's been since I finished my degree and decided to forgo further education to dedicate myself to my career. I'd say I got off to a good start, making my short film and then heading to London...but along the way I think I may have fallen into a bit of a trap. This stems, essentially, from my take on the idea that you have to put up with a certain amount of - let's be poetic here - "shit" in order to earn "the good stuff". This is a pretty fair thing to believe.

But I'm now sure that I've either been putting up with the wrong kind of shit or too much shit in order to really get my mitts on a fair share of "the good stuff" - AKA progression in my struggle to make scriptwriting my full time career. At times, scriptwriting has been so squeezed into the margins of my day that it has begun to feel more like a really passionate hobby than what I really want it to be.

So, in no small part inspired by a daring move by my friend Victor in his own artistic endeavors, I've decided that it's time to either commit or quit. Luckily something has happened which I didn't think would - a third room mate that I could actually tolerate and enjoy living with has come up and shall be moving in at the start of the next month. This will help get my monthly living expenses down to a level which I believe most chartered accountants would define as total bullshit.

Thus!

I am going to try and get myself in the position to work a permanent job for just three days a week and use the other two working days to scriptwrite and hustle. To do that starting fresh instead of hurriedly scribbling during lunch breaks and after long days of punishing mundanity. I will then even be able to, heaven forbid, take a day on the weekend to do nothing but recharge my batteries and not feel like I have fallen victim to the bullshit that is an "opportunity cost".

Until that permanent part-time role becomes mine, I plan to alternate between temping and "not working". The contract I'm on right now goes for another two weeks (I think, maybe a third). After it ends, I'm taking one solid week off to experiment and see if my work ethic can be honed to (or is already at) a sharp enough point to really knuckle down to the grindstone and not look this gift horse in the metaphor until I can come up with a better metaphor for "to see if I'll actually spend the day writing or just wank around".