A Term For The Ages

I’m pretty sure I’ve used this term in a post or two, but today I’m going to try and encourage this as a new internet meme while making a game out of it.

The term I am referring to is something I coined (probably at the same time as twelve other people across the globe, since there are no exclusive or entirely new ideas) during my last visit with the notorious Andy Brown. We were in his kitchen serving up some frosty drinks and, in a desire to make them frostier still, Andy was wrestling to get some ice out of a tray.

Poor Andy. He only wanted a couple of ice cubes. But due to the manufacture of the tray, it was difficult for him to get out less than “way the hell too much” ice. Half-chuckling at the inanity of it, he began to complain, tongue-in-cheek, that ice trays need to be made so that it was easier to get a modest amount of ice out. Standing in the kitchen with it’s magical heat box, cold box, pre-chewing device and other marvels of the modern world…I felt the need to remark “Well, it looks like we’ve got a real first world problem on our hands here”.

I’m not sure how I said something in bold type, but I’m anxious to rediscover the secret.

Enjoying the term, we made a list (sadly lost since then) of First World Problems and it was a good provider of perspective as well as komedy laffs. Two prize ones from my past experience include...

"Aw man, I'm so full. I'm not going to be able to get full value for my money at this buffet!".

"God dammit, this stationary store has a custom ink stamp for every letter but the two I need for my initials!"

"The pricing schemes for Rogers cable packages are really annoying"

One of the best things about First World Problems is how often people complain about them while being unaware of how, in a global perspective, they are lucky to even have such a problem. I think that the best First World Problem should be a bit like a pun, making the listener or reader groan as much as laugh.

So I'd like to propose a game! In the comments section for this post (which, new readers, anyone can post in) I'd love to see the most First World Problem you can come up with - from the imagination or memory, from yourself or others you've overheard.

Points are awarded for creativity and you're encouraged to phrase it as it would actually be said. Pretty much anything to do with computers and the internet are easily put into this category, so you'll want to really put your back into anything from that quarter - like one my buddy Joe sent me this morning, which sparked this post, wherein he complained about all the Facebook friend requests he was getting from people he wasn't overly fussed about. He knew what he was doing though, as he included "First. World. Problem." at the bottom of the email.

Please, pass this along! If you're a member of a forum, start a thread and get people to reply with their own suggestions. Start a wikipedia article. Organize a flash mob where a large group of people converge on a daily talk-show set and yell "First World Problems!" really loudly for ten minutes before dispersing to the ether. If you're an artist I bet you could even do some really great illustrations to go with your own First World Problems!

Come on people, let's start a movement founded on mirth!