Showing posts with label Carp. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Carp. Show all posts

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Can't see the woods for the housing developments

This is a pretty old story. We've all heard it enough times, but it keeps getting told.I think that if there is one trick our fuzzy neighbor to the south has taught us so far, it's that one of the tricks for making people accept something horrible is to do it often and without shame.These pictures work their way in from the edge to about a kilometer and a half into a section of woods not far from my home. The sunnier photographs are from March break 2001, while the overcast winter pics are from last week. I'm alternating between a photo of one spot from about six and a half years ago, then showing roughly the same location as it is now.I can barely walk five feet through here without tripping over a flashback to some important - or at least nostalgia inducing - moment from my life. The only area comparable to this part of Carp would be downtown Ottawa, in that both are densely laden with Firsts, Passion Plays, Unsolved Mysteries and other Memorables.This has served as my little escape from the world, when I've needed one.But a tedious, tedious story has begun to play out. The forest is being cleared for new housing, the likes of which tend to take their street and neighborhood names from the very terrain they are obliterating.Naturally there is a part of me which is furious, disappointed, disheartened and all the rest. There is also the part of me which knows that the owners of the land can either sit on it, making nothing, or sell it and make a very handsome retirement fund for themselves. Then my sense of taste is just outright offended by the style and size of homes being built, including how little they resemble anything else in the community, but that is very peripheral.Anyways.Eventually I'd come across a mound of earth which prods into the underbelly of a small lake and this is where Things would generally happen. On my own, I'd usually stop here to write or just close my eyes and clear my head. With others, a number of things might happen but the safe bet would be a good ol' bush party. In Carp, until you got your drivers license, your primary gateway to Adult Thrills would generally come via a bush party. A small circle of rocks sat there and was used for fires done up by tweens and teens for many a year.But it's recently gotten a lot less inviting.Yeah, private property and all that! I know! But dang if it isn't an unpleasant thing to see after being freely allowed to romp around this area all your life. It feels a bit childish of me to get uptight about seeing a polite, lurid, orange "Fuck off, unless you've got cash in exchange for planning rights" spray painted over somewhere you remember being led by your kindergarten teacher, along with all the other little ducklings, to see a beaver lodge. This isn't just where I discovered the folly of alcohol from that guy's dad's poorly locked liquor cabinet or how girls can be good for more than throwing snowballs at, it's where I made some of my earliest connections with nature - "Nature" being the primary element composing "The Earth".Yeah, it's fair to say that I'm being a little wrought up about this and that my personal perspective heavily influences how I feel about these changes. In this one post, I'm not even going to pretend to be objective. Once in a while, it's okay to emote - so long as you don't try to present it as something else. I am not Michael Moore, this is not the Charlton Heston segment of Bowling for Columbine.So that's that, then. I promised I'd show Carp and this is part of it. I feel that eventually I shall come back to take more pictures of Carp, but it won't be Carp anymore. It will be Stittsville or Kanata. It will be the new place that people want to move further away from, so as to live in "the country".I honestly try not to romanticize these woods, this village or it's inhabitants - the same way I try not to romanticize anything else, as doing so is a luxurious indulgence which obliterates objectivity and rational thought. This makes me sound like a goddamn Vulcan, but I'm just a guy who values seeing things clearly. But I can't see this sort of thing clearly through all the tears.

Ha!

Got you!

You thought this was going to get all stupid and weepy. No, no. I used to feel that way about the development in Carp and I still don't like it...but I find that I've reached an age and a certain level of knowledge where it becomes absurd to look at things in such a maudlin fashion. I'm still for denser, better planned development. I'm just no longer able to sustain the kind of intense angst and frustration which this shit used to provoke in me - I think the angst gland starts to shrivel on your twentieth birthday and is eventually passed like a kidney stone.

The fact of the matter is that I'm now seeing my frustrations with this shit with almost the same sense of temporal detachment that I see "all them memories" etc. Not being able to blind myself to other sides of the issue, I can't maintain the kind of tunnel vision required to be vehemently against or in favor. I do know that I wish the development was being done differently and for less assinine reasons, but I can no longer shake my fist at The Bastards and spit.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Prognosis: Yes.

For a bit of contrast with my shot from two days ago, here is a non-misty picture from the same spot. Moving on, let's saunter down to the "Giant's Golf Ball" - which no longer seems to be directly working within the military anymore.It now seems to be working on behalf of Canadian Space Services Ltd. and is also, according to the signs out front, somehow connected to an Internet service at www.koallo.com ? Anyways, I caught a few more fun shots along the far side of the Diefenbuker land while I was walking down to the "radome".I'm not sure what the hell this thing is - an emergency exit maybe? Something to do with ventilation?For a fan of Fallout and other such things, this sign is pretty money.In case of apocalypse, do up your goddamn seatbelt.Another view of the "golf ball". Along this river, and not far from the bridge I was standing on, there is a huge beaver dam that gets dynamited by humans only to be rebuilt by long suffering beavers every single year.Then we have a glimpse of the Diefenbunker as seen from afar, while standing on......the lone railway which passes through many a farmers field and......past the "mighty" Carp river, which I remember caused a furor when folk were trying to build the Palladium/Corel Centre/ Scotiabank Whore n' Hockey box (for kids) on account of how it might have been "navigable" or not. Oh yes, it won't be long now before I set my gambling barge along it's swift currents and sip mint juleps while listening to the sound of my coffers being filled with the money of desperate men.Coming into town we see the most ill advised corporate logo since that brief summer when Subway decided to use a blurry jpg of a blistered anus. And finally we have the Carp Agricultural Society building, where the weekly Farmers Market is held most of the non-winter year.Will the be more of Carp to show? Prognosis: Yes.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Diefencrunker...oh wait, I made that "joke" already

Today I thought my plan to take pictures would be a bust on account of a bloody great big fog that settled in about two days ago. I'm basically living in Silent Hill right now, though with less knife wielding babies.Then I realized that maybe I could take pictures of the fog? Good idea, good idea...especially when mixed with the Diefenbunker.Here we have the tobogganing hill in Carp, where a younger Oliver often enjoyed himself and sometimes wondered if the fence really was electrified - as the now missing signs used to inform us back when the Cold War was still busy petering out. I am old is basically what I am getting at here. And then we look over the Carp Valley.Und zen ve are havink some of ze bunkair.Near the Diefenbunker is a military communications....node (?) that has been there as long as I can remember. When I was little my dad liked to tell me that it was a giant's golf ball which might be claimed by it's owner any day now.The back entrance, as it were. There used to be an antique car from the 1930's that was inexplicably sitting in front of it. I used to wonder if it was supposed to be the Prime Minister's get-away car in which to run over/from the mutants.A side view of the main entrance.MOREYou can read a lot of facts about the Diefenbunker at it's website, which I've already linked to. But I can tell you that the few things I remember most from the tour are thus:

1) There is a vault [for gold] inside with just one hallway leading to and around it. In each corner of the surrounding hallway there is a tall mirror placed so that you can always see (and be seen by) whoever else is outside the vault. This is pretty much James Bond in a towel, which is suitable since I think one of my first thoughts at the time was "God this would be so good for a level in Goldeneye".

2) Like anything from the Cold War, particularly a structure that was built in the early years, there was a reasonable amount of very black humor to be taken in. Things like how they thought that radiation would have dropped down to safe levels after only two years. Like how part of the plan involved storing a gold deposit to re-establish the currency and copies of every single document needed to facilitate the running of the Canadian government...but no women. Not even the Prime Minister's wife!

One thing I'm not entirely sure about, now that the years have fuzzed my memory a bit, is that one unfortunate guard got to stand outside while the bombs dropped to, you know, keep an eye on things. Since nobody in the village of Carp (or anyone else who wasn't on The List) was allowed in the bunker, it would have fallen on this poor SOB to make sure none of the locals fleeing the bombs got anywhere near the bunker doors and since he would be outnumbered by a fat margin then this would almost certainly lead to his having to use his gun for this purpose.

Good times!

3)A bunch of students from West Carleton High School put together diagrams which illustrate the blast radius of different atomic bombs as they would spread over the downtown Ottawa area (generally with Parliament as ground zero). These were your standard "Red dot - Orange Ring - Yellow ring - White ring" icons.

My apartment where I lived for two and a half years before leaving for England fell within the yellow ring.

Yellow = "Those who envy the dead"

Huh.
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Addendum: The most recent "We The Robots" made me laugh my ass off by really hitting on one of them fundamental truths. Maybe your ass will fall off too?

Also this.

And okay maybe this too.

DOUBLE Addendum(nity?): I just saw someone pluralize "Vagina" as "Vaginae".
WHAT?