Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Microsoft Turd

See what I did there?

The reason for a delay in my posting Oxford pictures and the first installment of Dirk Hardwood is that I got an offer from a publishing company for an entry-level proofreading position in central London. "Complete a Microsoft Word test that we'll send you and, if you do well enough, we'll call you in for a single interview which could then lead to employment". Sounds good enough, I can make Micrsoft Word dance through most hoops.

BUT THEN THE TEST WAS ALL ABOUT TABLES

Some questions are obviously quite easy (ex. change the font, sort by reverse alphabetical order and of course the actual proofreading/editing at the end). But I've already harrassed several people who know more about Word than I, as well as spent a few hours dabbling, and yet the "tabbed tables" questions are basically ruining me.

On the upside, this and some other frustrations seem to be putting me in just the right mindset for Dirk Hardwood...provided I don't pass out and then wake up in a ditch somewhere, wearing naught but a copy of the Microsoft Office manual and electrical tape.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is this "ruining me" in the senese of its screwing you over hard, or is it "RUINING ME" in the sense that it is forcing you to accept that the Golden Age is over and that you just killed, like, five people?

Oliver Brackenbury said...

Hard to say!

I eventually just sent the damnable thing back to them...but lo and behold, I guess they are ready for my jelly as I now have an interview for next Tuesday.

Here is the address, in case you feel like google mapping the precise piece of London.

18-19 Long Lane
London, EC1A 9PL

Anonymous said...

Why do I have a mental image of your test that you sent back to them consisting of two-hundred pages of "You're Ruining Me" followed by a recording of you sobbing bitterly?

Congrats on being able to approach Phase 2 of the job gettin'. Here's to no curvy bits taunting you this time!

Anonymous said...

Ah yes THE MEAT MARKET (not soho)ho ho
And a stones throw from Hatton Gardens, The gold rush of 1960 :-)

Anonymous said...

I am trying to determine whether or not "carp gremlin" is one of your parents, or spam.

Anonymous said...

When I went to interview with Excel HR this summer, they made me do a similar Word test. The kicker was that you weren't allowed to use the pull down menus. It had to be shortcut keys only.

Bastards.

Oliver Brackenbury said...

Oh man Kate, I feel your pain. I've done a couple of tests like that - usually it means you're using a Flash approximation of the program and not the actual one. The shit is merciless since if you click in the wrong area YOU ARE WRONG, YOU MAY NOT HAVE MEANT TO DO THAT BUT TOO BAD NEXT QUESTION.

Shawn: My parents, dogg, who do you think?

Tom: Did I not make my point properly? I was enraged, not engorged.