Mind the Pap

Hoo boy, I must have spent about five hours on the train or the tube yesterday. That plus a fun night with the lads and it took me just about all of today to rest up. A phone call with my parents and watching The Guns of Navarrone with their good friend Penny were the weightiest tasks I set myself.

Lo and behold, yesterdays interview was in fact the real thing and not a practice interview with a recruitment agency (like my escapade on Tuesday). This was the first half of a two part process, apparently, wherin the first interview is a test of writing ability. If you prove that you have the necessary skills then you get to have a second interview where they decide if you would be a decent fellow to work with or if you're someone out of a Ricky Gervais television show. If I progress to this second stage than I would probably be called in sometime late next week or early into the next.

The test was actually a rather enjoyable exercise. You see, Lead Generators are a company which is hired by other companies to provide them with copy for their websites which not only tries to effectively sell the product in question (Travel packages are a big earner) but also word their pitch in such a manner that it will appear as high on a search engine inquiry as possible.

My job, were I to start there, would have the primary duty of writing this kind of text - utlizing a list of most commonly searched relevent phrases which I would then weave as tightly and frequently into the sales copy without being absurd (typing "super cheap vacation super cheap vacation super cheap vacation Scarlett Johannson Nude" might get a lot of hits, but it won't really read very well!). It is not a lot unlike playing an advanced kind of Scrabble, using whole words instead of letters. This can get very tricky because it is not enough for the key words in a phrase to be present, they have to all be put in a very close row - though you can shuffle them about a bit.

For example, the phrase "cheap tropical Fuerteventura holiday" might be a popular search entry. Thus an improper weave migth read thusly:

"Come to sunny, tropical Fuerteventura, where you can find cheap acommadation which will free up more precious pounds for enjoying your holiday"

While a successful weave might read:

" Cheap holidays in tropical Fuertenventura can be had by all, thanks to new deals offered by..."

And so it goes. Now I doubt I need to make anyone aware that one does not need to pass any tests of linguistic ability to utilize a search engine. Thus part of the challenge was integrating some truly inane searches. The most challanging line I can remember was one which involved an unecessary repetition of the "Costa" in "Costa De Antigua". The actual string was something like "cheap apartment holiday costa costa de antiquga". Yes it is a dumb typo to have that second "costa", but because it is a typo that is made by approximatly 1100 people a day...then it is worth big points if you can weave it in. After an awful lot of shuffling, I eventually conquered the bugger by making a terrible pun about the low "costa" accomadation in Costa de Antigua.

This may sound terribly dull and I am sure that if I get the job there might be days when I find myself trying to perfect voodoo rituals that I might lay down more than terrible invective upon the masses of internet users who I wouldn't trust to cut the crusts off a sandwich....but gosh darn it, I love the prospect of being able to play with language and get paid. Plus the area where the office is situated, East Sheen, is very nice. I can see myself living there and wearing a smile more often than not.

I look forward to this, as a job is the key step to knocking down a series of very important dominoes (bank account, place to live etc). As it stands, I will have to retreat to Reading at the end of the month - but the fact that rent is paid weekly, instead of monthly, in England means that I am not then consigned to a full month outside of the city I am trying to get started in. It's annoying, but I shall take care to polish that old silver lining. Aside from enjoying my friends in Reading, I think I would try to hop over to Oxford and visit the fine family friends who first introduced me to Richard Dawkins via his collection of short essays and speeches.

I feel a little stressed out right now, it's hard not to when you have so little under your feet, but I do still feel very much in control and the publishing interviews have left me feeling vindicated in my decision to come here. Homesickness paid a visit earlier while I was on the phone and hearing all about today's Carp Farmers Market - but I managed. I wish I had the time and energy to better keep on top of my emails. Trust me guys, I always read them right away -it's finding time and energy for the replies that gets tricky.

Heck, I wish I was a wealthy fellow who could afford to just hop on a jet and visit Ottawa for a while (Toronto and Taipai too, for that matter!). But for now I just need to endure this transient lifestyle for a handful more weeks. I'm rolling back in for my last week in Tottenham on Tuesday morning and I guess we'll see what develops!

Plaid shirts over a white or black tee on one side, understated Polo shirts with faux family crests on the other
1) There is a definite reduction in the amount of clever t-shirts over here. Mens clothing is a lot less attention seeking, favoring a good fit and streamlined design instead of bold colors forming a work of art upon the chest, back or shoulders.

2) Meanwhile, most women seem to favor the "If you've got it, flaunt it" policy - which is perfectly compatible with my "If you've got it, can...can I see?" policy.