Chili Willi

It's an odd time for me right now. I have more going on, writing and production-wise, than I think I ever have. BUT it is all in the early, larval stages - steadily developing, but larval nonetheless. It'll probably be at least a couple of months before anything I'm putting to paper and word file gets made into a kaleidoscope of stimuli I can wiggle under the behinds of my friends and loved ones.

So I post a picture of the eleven liters of chili I made! POT LUCK TONIGHT, TIME TO WORK ON THAT POT BELLY.

I attended a group comedy writing "jam" (or whatever the fuck you want to call it) last night. Good times and I think my chops were sufficient. It's always nice to bounce shit off of people, back and forth and let an idea snowball. I find that's often when I'm at my best with comedy, which is certainly why I often wish I could just transcribe conversations with friends and get paid somehow. Though, of course, you always need to make sure any of that shit is actually funny to people who aren't you and your buddy - you and your buddy in that specific circumstance.

Meanwhile, here is something I wish I'd had while in London - but which anybody might enjoy.

I GOT SOME OF THOSE

So yes, it took longer than I expected but the screenprint is finished. For those who'd like to know more about the process, let's work backwards.

When everything goes to hell...

...I'm going to go to South America and live with the other Ewoks.

When men are allowed to be offended...

Guys...this...this is sexy...it just is okay?

Online petitions...

...feel about as flaccid as [Republican Senator's member] after they were caught soliciting [sexual act] from [homosexual escort] at [public transit terminal or back alley]!

But this one seems worth a damn, particularly since it is the precursor to a march on April 22nd - aka Earth Day. If you live in Toronto, you may wish to attend.

Cursed uninventive Anglo bastards

Seriously!

I just got back from a short trip out to Etobicoke, which richly reintroduced me to the pale grey wasteland that is a Canadian office park, and along the way I passed through a subway station named "Islington". Seeing it in a subway, a mode of transport I never used much until I lived in the UK Islington, really made my head flip for just long enough to notice.

Meanwhile, I'm going to try silk screening for the first time today. Results shall be posted later!

Pfffffft.....

Fire and Gold

Just a couple of things I bumped into recently, which I like. Firstly, I learned of the great Toronto fire in a manner more interesting than playing six degrees of Wikipedia.And this caught my eye firstly because it is in gold paint, which you don't see often, and then because of it's message.

If you can't write and are sick of the computer...

...then drink and paint!

Reference picture - A London "Teddy Girl" I clipped out of Nude magazine.Sketchy sketchGettin' thereI'm not sure if I consider this done, but it's done enough for today.

Urghhhh

Sorry guys, wrestling with writers block and job hunting doesn't an epic narrative make.

More soon, hopefully.

Awesome

Al Gore has started something pretty interesting this week.

The project's own page.

And the video, for which they roped in William H. Macy.

Swans & Garbage

During the temp job I just finished, one of my favorite things to do during my lunch hour was to go down to the waterfront. Soon enough I figured out the specific spot that two particular swans (and two cheeky ducks that follow them to pick at the food the swans often get thrown at them) like to come to.One swan was noticeably slower than the other and thus, thanks to some half-memory from a Warner Brothers cartoon I saw years ago, I secretly named him "Wilbur" and sometimes provided him with dialogue of the slow-witted mountain person variety. He and his nameless, brighter accomplice would show up at 1pm each day like clockwork and once or twice a week I would take great pleasure and relaxation in feeding them bits of bread that I'd try to save for them. It's not hard to see why seniors enjoy doing this sort of thing. By getting lost in their little world I could take a nice break from the stresses of my own. It was surprisingly difficult to get a decent shot of the two opportunistic ducks that would always see me feeding the swans and then nip over to try and steal what they could. The smarter, nameless swan often got really pissed at the ducks and once it even managed to clamp it's beak over the neck of a duck and give it a good shake - followed by a honk which I can only assume was Swan for "Fuck off you little bastard". Swan's are pretty foul mouthed eh? Anyways, I managed to get one of them in the bottom right of this picture.Now, this is right along the waterfront - specifically the waterfront which is supposed to be the shining glory of Toronto with all those million dollar condos that get the Che Guevera T-shirt brigade rubbing their tits in a fury. A lot of effort has been put into the landscaping, architecture and general cleanliness of this place - a rough analogue to my beloved Thames Embankment. Thanks to where I was temping, I've even gotten some interesting glimpses at what is planned for the future of the waterfront along with plenty of Utopian concept drawings and models. All that said and I still caught plenty of this.Which brought my mind back to things I've been reading in general and specifically about microscopic plastics in the world's supply of water. The mind starts to reel a bit, or at least mine did. I began to wonder how much of the chemical composition of Lake Ontario has been replaced by plastic particles. Then I wondered how much plastic was inside the Swan's stomachs. How much they were taking in with each bite of the bread I was tossing into the water for them to eat. How much of my own body, no matter how tiny a percentage, was contaminated by these particles - given the old 60% water routine. Idly tossing the bits of whole wheat into Wilbur's path, I felt like what I was doing was all of a sudden a bit sinister on just about every level possible. In a word, it felt polluted.I appreciate that VICE magazine is an amusing and often offensive (though not for the reasons you'd think) source of information - but their Internet television network VBS is a largely different creature in terms of raw quality, particularly their journalistic programs. I've referred to their Toxic Alberta series before and now, in relation to what I'm talking about, I'll refer you to the preview of their upcoming Toxic Garbage Island series that will cover, firsthand, what is going on in the South Pacific Sub-Tropical Gyre. The author of the corresponding article for the magazine had a frank lead-in to the topic which I think, after having read more on this, stands as highly appropriate.
----
I'm not one of those guys who corners folks at parties to rant at them about biodiesal or calls people "fucking idiots" for being skeptical about global warming. But I should also point out that I'm not one of those Andrew Dice Claw "Fuck the whales" types either.
The problem with all the bravado on both sides of the ecology debate is that nobody really knows what they are talking about. Trying to form opinions on climate change, overpopulation, and peak oil hinges on ginormous leaps of faith based around tiny statistical deviances that even the scientists studying them have a hard time understanding. It gets so convoluted with all the yelling and politics that sometimes you just want something huge and incontrovertibly awful to come along for everybody to agree on. Something you can show anyone a picture of and go, "See? We're fucked?"

Well, I have just such a thing. There is a Texas-size section of the Pacific Ocean that is irretrievably clogged with garbage and it will never go away. And I have seen it with my own eyes. Case Closed. Oh, you want to hear more? Ok, fine.
-------
That last hyperlink is, of course, to the full article online. I don't fully agree that the problem rests on understanding tiny variances, the variances are anything but tiny, however the urge to have something which can shock people out of complacency is something for which I have a great deal of sympathy.

Meanwhile the BBC has an ongoing diary that started a few days ago, which looks at the problem from the perspective of the bird population in Midway Island.

I present this information not to lord anything over anyone or to encourage a proper case of Doom to fall about you like a funeral shroud. I'm doing it partly to buck up the old sanity, partly because it's important that as many people be as aware as possible so that when they think about - say - reusing or not reusing those thing plastic bags we use at the supermarket for our fruit and vegetables, they maybe think of this shit and opt toward the more responsible option.
------------
ALSO: LET'S DO THIS AMERICA

And on a more lighthearted note...

A quality post is coming tomorrow.

Why it isn't just the fundamentalists..

...that are dangerous.

I don't care if it's lame

...I've just put the final touches to my new bedroom. I've said it before, a good bedside lamp makes all the difference in your daily peace of mind (and proper curtains don't hurt either).Also - magnificent coasters for the planned martini bar in the guest room.
Meanwhile, I had a bit of luck and bumped into another film-maker-in-the-making at my job today. He let me know about the Canadian Film Festival that is going on this week. I'm going to try for the opening gala tomorrow night and if that fails, at least one of the screenings. Meeting this fellow also reminded me that I should make some fuggin' business cards! How else am I ever going to become Mr. Hollywood?
---------------------
Addendum: I'm kind of a dick?

Also, some of you may be familiar with my theory that there is an alternate dimension populated entirely by political satire of this dimension....and shit is spilling over here from there.

UH

"1,500 plus CPDRC inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center, Cebu, Philippines at practice!"

Street Magic!

I just got back from a meeting with my web series collaborator that was pretty damn productive. I wish it wasn't the height of unprofessionalism to post every step of the process here, but luckily it isn't unprofessional to post the results and today we're a big step closer to doing that.

One thing that I can share is how he said to me that if I wrote something that could be as successful as "David Blaine's Street Magic" then he would throw money at me until I would never need another dollar. The first episode of the series has garnered fifteen million hits on YouTube, so basically only a few million short of something to do with Britney Spears' tits.

That is actually a compliment!

But out of the four online, the second and third are the best - so I've shared them below. All you really need to know going in is that "David Blaine" likes to harass the same two guys with various magic tricks. Enjoy!

Optimus Sup-Prime

I knew the sub-prime housing thing in the U.S. had had plenty of unfortunate consequences, but I guess I didn't stretch my imagination far enough as the above video caught me off-guard.

DinoDayDreams

The building I'm currently working in is rather tall and I'm up on the 13th floor, so it's very unusual to see something move past the window. But yesterday afternoon a very long crane came by a window in my peripheral vision and, probably due to the odd loping motion in which it did so, for one brief and shining moment my brain interpreted it as a friendly brontosaurus going about it's business.

In modern day Toronto. I am sure that he would teach us all a lesson about our common humanity before his tragic death at the hand of overprotective but well meaning parents.

For those of you who have yet to give up on me as a decent human being (and were hoping for that one last thing to help push them over the edge), I should mention that I pounded out a detailed treatment for a three minute short based on that loverly quiz.

First a quiz, now uploading a webcomic...I'm turning to scum, SCUM.

Finally..

...a stupid Internet test I can get behind.

My Results
30

And while we're looking at silly things, why don't you come here and help me feed my Simcity fetish?

Meaty Posts should start with Meat

These are the boys, the meaty boys, which have my back this week.
Last night Roberto and I finally saw "There Will Be Blood". I went in with high expectations which were completely met and then met some more. Daniel-Day Lewis earned that fucking Oscar! For those of you have either seen it or don't care about SPOILERS, here is that final scene which made me have to work very hard not to pump my fist into the air and scream "EEEEEE...YYYYUS!". It was not the only scene to have this effect!



For those of you who didn't already know, Radiohead's Jonny Greenwood composed the entire soundtrack and did a magnificent job. During the very few shots where my attention may have wandered - namely broad California scenery shots - his soundtrack kept me absolutely riveted and contributed to the feeling that if I looked away, even for an instant, I would miss yet another magnificent example of What Film Should Do. Here's a clip of the music.



And if you feel like watching one of the horrors I came across in my failure to find my favorite scene, then go on ahead and do that to yourself!



Armed with what I knew going in, I very much expected the film to be evenly split between Eli the young pastor and Daniel the oil man. I should have paid more attention to the poster! This is a Daniel Day-Lewis marathon and though other actors put in strong performances, this really is all about him. He owns every scene he is in (about 90%) and you are always curious as to what he'll do next, even if it seems obvious. The charisma of his performance is such that you find yourself looking at the world through his characters own willful, misanthropic, pragmatic eyes and thus your opinion of his two more despicable acts has a way of being more sympathetic than it might be otherwise.

It's a shame we had to wait five years for another Paul Thomas Anderson film, but it was a wait that was richly rewarded. His cinematography took a film which may appear to have no need for the big screen and made that size screen borderline mandatory. Columns of oil, gritted teeth, bible thumping and other things which are not CGI muppets are presented with an intensity that matches Daniel Day-Lewis's frequent outbursts - including a part about halfway into the film where he just slaps the shit out of the sniveling young priest (which, frankly and a little sadistically I admit, I could watch on a continuous loop for some time).

So yes, this kind of plays to my "beliefs" at times and thus the final facet which the film maker has little control over - whether or not the story plays to your personal views - also fell into place. Grab your wallet and run to the theater as fast as you can!Speaking of the imaginary beast brigade, the second big Scientology protest happened yesterday in 'celebration' of L. Ron Hubbard's birthday. The Toronto protest got a decent crowd and I nabbed a few photographs. Good on the three hundred plus got out there and gave these odious shit-merchants a poke in the eye. Another protest is already planned for April 12th and I think I'll finally participate.Finally, I've recently learned of a real-life fellow who seems every bit as driven and strangely admirable as Daniel in "There Will Be Blood". His name is Joaquin Balaguer and I strongly suggest giving his wikipedia entry at least a little perusal, as he is just about the best example of a literal enviro-fascist as I've ever come across in my readings on history and politics.

More Sweding

You may recall my rambling about "Be Kind, Rewind". Well, here is a particularly fun Swede of Star Wars that my room mate bumbled across. Enjoy!

One thing I've been thinking a lot about since moving to Toronto is the whole condo rah rah rah.A lot of amateur class warriors like to hate on them due to the opulence of several complexes, mixed with the greed which is plainly evidenced by the developers at times and the occasional hint at nefarious practices to serve said greed (i.e. pressuring the city to let them bulldoze historical and/or colourful neighborhoods to build more condos). I've also heard some complain about how they have a way of blocking everyone else from the lovely view of Lake Ontario.My temp job at the moment is with Waterfront Toronto and they are all about the redevelopment of a long stretch of prime real esate. The view from various windows on their floor affords a peek at precisely the tall towers which have some folk grinding their teeth.I think this is certainly something I want to learn more about. I know that my own life aspirations tend to steer away from living in the suburbs, in a house, raising some kids etc. Generally I want to live in a central, urban location and not have to deal with the multitude of maintenance issues a house involves. This sorta lends itself to my working towards a deposit on a condo instead of a house. Now, I'll have to do pretty well for myself to afford any of the places I'm showing here. Like I said, opulence.But there is another angle that appeals to me, the environmental one (surprise!). Surely it's more environmental to stick a few hundred people into one building which covers as much land as any condoplex usually does than to spread them out across several acres of lower density housing? I think this is certainly something worth researching and wouldn't mind if anyone wants to toss in their ten cents on this one. Plus, it's not a commune or anything but I know they generally have communal areas and one could hope for a better shot at getting to know your neighbors that way then what I've witnessed in places like Kanata Lakes or the outer regions of London.Meanwhile, I continue to work on retyping and rejigging "Tonight We Fall In Love" from top to bottom. It's strange to be doing this, it's somewhere between reading ancient diary entries and chastising your younger self for doing something worse than your present self is able.

Quiet day

Holy cow am I tired but tomorrow I'm looking at a post to go with some waterfront pictures I took today. I wouldn't be writing today but I wanted to share this interesting article, which may lead to some interesting ramifications on the U.S. presidential election as well as the semi-official war on science that is being conduced in that same country.

Now I gotta go continue to sleep off the housewarming wingding in which there were...TOO MANY MEN.

TOO MANY MEN

Jesus Christ London...

...this is not a good idea!

Addendum: Ah, now I see why that picture of Patrick Swayze I used seems to be attracting so much traffic.

Round and round and round she goes

FLIPFLOP

...and you don't stop?

Well, I've found more than three days temp work and it feels pretty durn good. A permanent role would be better, but this staves off the money demons to such a distance that they shan't be distracting me as much as they have been lately.

This is good since my web series show bible got the thumbs up from my director, who is now going to run it by the producer to do a cost analysis. I look forward to finding out what may need to be cut or changed to save costs, so that I can then plow onward and write the remaining twelve episodes of the thirteen episode season. Given that it's for the web, they're going to be about ten minutes long and I enjoy the constraint.I couldn't find the exact post, but I know I've mentioned here before about how one of the first challenges I had to overcome was writing scenes that read like novels. With only ten pages to try and convey almost as much as you might have in a half hour or even hour-long program...this is not a luxury you can afford! I still am not in a position to reveal much, but when I can, I will.MEANWHILE

I cannot seem to escape these craven idols of Freddie Mercury.

Friggin' innernet!

Sometimes I still get a little dazzled by some of the absurdities of the way the internet works. Curious as to why I was getting dozens and dozens of hits today, I checked my stats to see that TODAY IS THE DAY, THE DAY WHEN EVERYBODY IS SEARCHING FOR A PICTURE OF PATRICK SWAYZE (that I used as a visual gag once).

My tits, they went up

I must admit, I'd bought into the semi-legit "common knowledge" that Torontonians are less than savvy when it comes to judging what is a harsh snow storm by Canadian standards. Having already had an anti-climax or two, I didn't take the warning for tonight seriously.

Did I get hoisted by my own petard? Something like that! The important thing is that I just damn near cracked my coccyx by slipping on fresh, smooth smooth ice. While lying on my fractured ass, I looked up at a great scene of snowfall coming down into a Kensington market alleyway. I pulled out my camera and was promptly told the battery was out.

Okay world, ya got me! Pictures tomorrow. Standing erect without fear of reprisal tomorrow.

Hardware

Remember photos? I just did...

THANKS, CHURCHY

As if the film industry isn't difficult enough, some jerk decided to help make it more difficult. The facebook group which stands in opposition to this puts it all together more thoroughly than I would, so I've copied and pasted the relevant info below - along with a recent letter to all the members. One thing I like about the group is that it provides email address for contacting the involved politicians, so that the group might actually affect something.

-----------
Canada's Tory government is using clauses hidden away in Bill C10, an omnibus piece of legislation tweaking the Income Tax Act, to set itself up as the arbiter of which films and TV programs made in Canada are offensive, or not in the public interest. If C10 passes, the Heritage Minister will develop guidelines to deny tax credits (a key part of film and TV financing in Canada) to shows that step over the line--and it's anyone's guess how the Tories will define 'decency', 'obscenity', or 'contrary to public policy'.

Will films subversive of Christianity be funded (Jesus of Montreal)? Films with teen violence (New Waterford Girl)? Films with incest (The Sweet Hereafter)? Films with explicit sex (Crash)? Films with -- gasp -- gay themes (The Hanging Garden, etc., etc.)? Films with necrophilia (Kissed)? Films with threesomes (Where the Truth Lies)? Once the Tories pass this legislation, it'll be their administrative decision.

The Tories' evangelical base is celebrating the new legislation as a victory: the Globe and Mail reports that "Charles McVety, president of the Canada Family Action Coalition, said his lobbying efforts included discussions with Public Safety Minister Stockwell Day and Justice Minister Rob Nicholson, and 'numerous' meetings with officials in the Prime Minister's Office. 'We're thankful that someone's finally listening,' he said yesterday. 'It's fitting with conservative values, and I think that's why Canadians voted for a Conservative government.' 'There are a number of Conservative backbench members that do a lot of this work behind the scenes,' he said."

Right.

What's more, most films and TV programs apply for tax credits late in the game, after scripts have been written and principal photography completed. They use the predictability of tax credits to apply for federal subsidies, loans, and Telefilm Canada grants. With the proposed new guidelines, films and TV programs with even a whiff of controversy will become risky for funders, and artists will be under strong pressure to self-censor.

Please join this group, encourage people you know to join, and WRITE LETTERS to Senators, MPs, party leaders, the Minister of Heritage, and others. You'll find contact info and sample letters below.

It would also be great if you would share your own letters on the Discussion Board, post links to relevant articles under Posted Items, and use the Wall to state your views (no flame wars, please).

Bill C10 is currently in Third Reading, which is to say that there's little time to mobilize on this. Please do what you can.

For more info, see:

Canada tax credits: strings attached (The Hollywood Reporter): http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/international/news/e3i0055cabe5256398a723f2462ae029b3c

Evangelist takes credit for film crackdown (Globe and Mail): http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080229.wculture29/BNStory/National/home

Tories plan to withhold funding for 'offensive' productions (Globe and Mail): http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080228.wheritage28/BNStory/robColumnsBlogs/
------------
Hi there,

More than 1000 people have joined this Facebook group in opposition to Bill C-10 in its first day! Please check back for news, refer your friends and networks to this Group, and keep the ball rolling.

Most importantly, though, please fire off letters, even very brief ones, expressing your opposition. Addressees could include:

* The Prime Minister: pm@pm.gc.ca

* Leaders of opposition parties:
Stephane Dion: DionS@parl.gc.ca
Jack Layton: Layton.J@parl.gc.ca
Gilles Duceppe: Duceppe.G@parl.gc.ca

* Your local MP: http://canada.gc.ca/directories-repertoires/direct-eng.html

* The Canadian Audio-Visual Certification Office (CAVCO): cavco_bcpac@pch.gc.ca

* Letters to the Editor of national and local newspapers; TV and radio newsrooms; etc.

Thank you.
-------------

In the interest of fairness...

I thought I'd present this short clip about Obama.

In case anybody actually still has any doubts...

...as to whether or not L. Ron Hubbard was a money-grubbing madman....here is an authentic picture of him auditing a Tomato.They have past lives, you know.

Phew! Right then...

....it took a little longer than I expected, but I finished the first draft of the show bible for the web series I'm working on. This consisted of...

- The basic treatment (outline of the premise)
- Character Guide
- Episode Guide
- The first episode

I look forward to re-reading through it tomorrow and seeing how the assembly of all my disparate notes from the past six weeks or so looks after taking a break from squinting at all the connecting joints I was busy fashioning.

MEANWHILE

Oh ho ho ho...

Sorry for a quiet spell folks

I am currently in another script fugue! But once it's over, this means you can count on another Script-Writin' Fancy-Like entry. This particular fugue has been almost continuously accompanied by the incredible melodies from Goldfrapp's new album, which they've been nice enough to upload in it's entirety to their MySpace page. Christ knows, I just might request that "Clowns" be played at my funeral.


Uh


See you soon!